TXT JOKE LANG

MY COLLECTION OF TXT JOKES!!!

I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.

Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.

When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.

The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?

Whenever I hear people say something bad about you, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say "She's trying to be one naman a!"
I hate blackout. Never mind the aircon, never mind TV and stereo, never mind the internet. But if I could not recharge my cell phone so I could keep texting, that's another point. I hate blackout.

Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.

The only people whom I greet "Good morning" are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!

"Learn to appreciate art," I told my girlfriend. She said, "How could I appreciate you, then?"

You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.

Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!

I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grownup, I have one question..... What happened?

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: "Balance of nature".

Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.

How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!

Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna miss you for sure!

Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Kasi sabi nila cute daw ako kapag naiinis ako! Kaya, Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako!

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

I've just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!

While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew."

Bakit exciting ang text? 1. Kasi pwedeng magpacute and pangit. 2. Pwedeng single ang married 3. Sa text bida ang sinungaling 4. Sa text bistado ang kuripot.

Smile is the secret to stay young and cute. Naks, bakit ka nakangiti?

What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sent this and feeling cute is the one reading this. He...He...he... Text mo sa iba para ikaw naman ang cute!

I may not be your PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be your COKE, only the real thing; or your NIDO, world's no. 1 but I can be your REXONA I won't let you down.

I'm thinking u. I want to be with u. I am longing for u. I have a crush on u. I want to hug and kiss u. I love u. Ikaw, love mo rin ba ang letter u?

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!

If they say "Good looks could kill", then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!
Anong animal ang hindi sigurado? Eh di BAKA! Ano naman ang pinutol? E di CAT! E ano naman and laging ayos? E di OX! Ano ang laging nauuntog? E di DOG! E ano naman ang pangit? E di COW!

I sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping. She went back to me and said ang cute mo raw. Sinampal ko nga. Mali ang binantayan.

Between the thousand yesterdays and a million tomorrows, there's only one today and I wouldn't let this day pass without saying this to you - ang cute ko, grabe!

When I say good morning, it means I'm thinking of you. When I say take care, it means I care for you. When I say ang cute mo, antok lang ako. Tulog na ko.

I saw someone at the mall. So cute, smart-looking, simple, elegant, and looks like a celebrity. Kainis paglapit ko nauntog ako. Salamin pala!
Just got my medical exam results. Malala na ang sakit ko. Everyday lalo akong gumaganda at wala raw gamot dito. But don't worry, di daw nakakahawa. Safe ka.

You're like my asthma, you take my breath away. Like dandruff; I can't get you off my head. Like my car, you drive me crazy. Like dentures, I can't smile without you.

Fifty years from now, tanda na ko nun! Di na cute, wala ng appeal, uugud-ugod, nguya nganga, dala baston. Pero pag uso pa ang text, iti text pa rin kita.

You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.

You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have another friend but not as cute as I am!
If you're like my pillow, you're huggable. If you're like my cell phone, you're smart. If you're my chocolate, you're sweet. If you're like me, grabe and cute mo naman!

Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

You'll never know who your friends are… till you stumble and fall. And till you feel his hands on your shoulder as he says, "Yan tatanga-tanga kasi".

Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.

If you're not cute don't continue reading this.... Naks! yan ang gusto ko sayo eh, lakas ng fighting spirit mo! O pumipindot pa! Lupit mo!
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point... So don't dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?.!

The Pinoy politician does not fail to smile in front of the camera. Why? Guilt tickles when there is too much light.

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.

Newsflash: Policemen saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a building. Policeman: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa yo! Woman: Wag kayo makialam, di ako makapag -send!
If only I'm an angel, I'll protect you. I'll lend you my wings. I'll watch over you. But I'm not an angel, hawig lang.

When a veteran actor dies, women weep. When a young actor dies, girls cry, "Sayang!"

I don't know how to say this. We are friends but I can't get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you're the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!

The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache.

Kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA kitang pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SUZUKIlian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE what friends are FORD!
A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.

What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? Ako, I stare at the person and smile, but when I get tired, I just put the mirror down. Nakakangawit eh!

No one is too fat to run, except the Pinoy policeman.

Help! Nasa presinto ako. Nahuli kasi ako while I was working kanina. The charge was possession of cute face. I had no choice but plead guilty. Lakas ng ebidensya nila e!

How to spot a texter? 1. may muscle ang thumb 2. barok magsalita 3. may bangga ang auto 4. laging nakayuko 5. nakasimangot dahil di makasend.
Five reasons why I keep texting you: 1. You made me feel welcomed 2. You made me smile 3. You appreciate my thoughts 4. You spend time reading my messages 5. Di ako kuripot tulad mo!

When you feel left out and all alone, just try to close your eyes for a moment and think of me. Afterwards, you will suddenly smile and say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!

Ang ganda ng umaga because of you. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about you. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro you na lang ng you. Sabi ni doc, maybe because I miss you.

When she talks about the town, she calls it news. When the town talks about her, she calls it 'tsismis'.

I looked at the sky. The sky is beautiful. I looked at you. I looked at the sky na lang ulit.
Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!

I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.

Some people choose friends who are thoughtful and caring. Some prefer those who are smart and good looking. When you chose me, pinakyaw mo na lahat.

Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.

I know you've got plenty of friends. Some are old, some are new. Some are false, some are true. I may not be your perfect friend, but one thing I will always be - the cutest you've got.
I live a very difficult life. I'm always hurt! Whenever people call me cute, good looking, smart and lovable, I'm always hurt! Totoo pala, the truth hurts!

I asked my guardian angel for a friend whom I can love forever. She gave me you. And so I called on her again and asked: "Wala na bang iba?"

Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!

I'm not sure what life could bring you. I'm not sure if dreams do come true. I'm not sure what love can do. But I'm sure about one thing. Cute tayo.

Let go of the one who makes you cry. Let go of the one who breaks your heart. Let go of the one who causes you much pain. But never let go of me because mahirap maghanap ng cute na ka-text.
People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!

If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.

What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.

I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!

Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.
Playboy, speaking to a girl: "I want you to know that I value our relationship very much. In fact, I find you as my most favorite girlfriend."

Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?

If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?
When I was lost, you were there. When I was down, you were there. When I was bankrupt, you were there. When I almost died, you were there... Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!

It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.

Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.

Trivia: Having a good laugh with friends stimulates endorphins, the brain's natural painkillers. So if you need to laugh and you can't find a friend, I can lend you a mirror.

When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.

There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.

He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.

I may not be Pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be Coca Cola, only the real thing. I may not be Nido, the world's number 1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cell phone mo at girlfriend mo, anong gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka brother! Sagipin mo ang cell phone mo at sigaw mo sa girlfriend mo, text na lang kita!.

Someone claimed that Maria Clara could not be the model of Filipino women. "History never mentioned that she brushed her teeth," was the explanation.
The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.

Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.

I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away. I wrote your name every where! Hinuli ako ng pulis!

When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 cutie in the whole world is reading this message. Naks! Nakangiti na yan!
D only people whom I greet "Good morning" r those who r smart, cute n malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan, e di Good afternoon na lang sayo!

Lord saw u hungry so He created food. He saw u thirsty so He created H20. He saw u n d dark so He created light. He saw u alone so He created me.

Ang ganda ng umaga becoz of u. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about u. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro u na lang ng u. Sabi ni doc, may be because I miss u. Gud A.M.

God created the world in 6 days, but it took him centuries to come up with someone as sweet, as kind, as cute as me…Kala mo kaw no?

When u feel left out n all alone, just try to close ur eyes 4 a moment n think of me. Afterwards, u will suddenly smile n say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!

What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Wen God created music, der was ur voice; wen God created hapines, der was u; wen God created smartnes, cutenes, and gud luks, der was me...SAN KA BA KC NAGPUNTA!

U've got sex appeal, u've got style, u've got intelligence, & u've got class. U've got d face & u've got d body but I've got d wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

Relationships r like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no u turn, no left turn, but d best so far is give way and keep right.

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face ur fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

F u reciv it dis mins cute ako, f u save it cute talga ako, f u edit it cute pa rin ako, f u 4ward it pinagkaklat mong cute ako, but f u delit it naiinggit ka dahil cute ako.

Di ko kayang tanggapin, na wala ka ng txt sakin. Napakasakit na marinig na nagtitipid ka na sa akin.

Dear fellow texters. Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.

Just wanna giv u a hug to show u my gratitude that uve been my part of daily expenses. Joke lang.

When you feel that the sun is not shining on you... If you cant see the light coz something is blocking your sight & your losing your direction. . MAY MUTA KA !

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away, I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away, I wrote your name every where! Langya hinuli ako ng pulis!

How I wish I could see you today, I really miss you. I try to be there after my work, kaya lang baka ako matrapik… baka di ako umabot! Anong oras ba magsasara ang Zoo?

Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. Its not because your cute but because my mom told me that devils have tails and I'm just wondering where's yours?

They can recycle paper till as if its new, reclaim cans and jars and old bottles too, but they can never recycle another person as wonderful as ME! Kala mo ikaw noh?!

Para kang KUTO, I can't get you out of my head; para kang MUTA, I can't take off my eyes; para kang PUSTISO, I can't smile without you; para kang UTOT, tahimik pero may dating!

If you love someone… set him free… if he comes back… may naiwan lang yun, wag kang mag ilusyon.

I sent a flock of angels to stay with you throughout the night, 1 of them returned to me this morning and said "grabe ang cute nya!" binatukan ko nga kasi mali ang binantayan nya eh!

You're the reason why I have sleepless nights, you are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight, I'm thinking of you when I lay down at night, you are the reason why I shout "mommy may mumo!"

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.

I've just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!

D only people whom I greet "Good morning" r those who r smart, cute n malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan, e di Good afternoon na lang sayo!

Lord saw u hungry so He created food. He saw u thirsty so He created H20. He saw u n d dark so He created light. He saw u alone so He created me.

Ang ganda ng umaga becoz of u. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about u. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro u na lang ng u. Sabi ni doc, may be because I miss u. Gud A.M.

God created the world in 6 days, but it took him centuries to come up with someone as sweet, as kind, as cute as me…Kala mo kaw no?

When u feel left out n all alone, just try to close ur eyes 4 a moment n think of me. Afterwards, u will suddenly smile n say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!

What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Wen God created music, der was ur voice; wen God created hapines, der was u; wen God created smartnes, cutenes, and gud luks, der was me...SAN KA BA KC NAGPUNTA!

U've got sex appeal, u've got style, u've got intelligence, & u've got class. U've got d face & u've got d body but I've got d wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

Relationships r like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no u turn, no left turn, but d best so far is give way and keep right.

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

GMA opened a savings account at Westmont Bank. The janitor saw the specimen signature she signed . . . " Nora Aunor."

Newsflash #30: Watch out for this. Sen. Tessie Aquino Oreta to make public apology on TV. She'll do it on "Keep on Dancing".

Newsflash #33: Erap agrees to step down . . . the U.S. government has granted him asylum with his family. Medyo madedelay lang because he still cannot decide which family to bring.

An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid'

Kung kahangahanga ka, CRUSH ang tawag sa iyo. Kung mabait at matalino, IDOL! Pero kung kamukha kta, ano pang iniintay mo! MAG ARTISTA KA NA!

TRIVIA: Having a good laugh with friends stimulates endorphins, the brain's natural painkillers. So if you need to laugh and you can't find a friend, I can lend you a mirror.

When I was lost you were there, when I was down you were there, when i was bankrupt you were there, when I almost died you were there... Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!

If you are alone I'll be your shadow, if you want to cry I'll be your shoulder, if you want a hug I'll be your pillow, if you need to be happy I'll be your smile, if you need money wait for your salary.

Why do we sleep? Bcoz we need to take a break from txting. Have a nice dream while texting. :-)

Kinukulong lahat ng text addict na cute!!! Ingat ka ha! Kakatakas ko lang.

What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sends this and feeling cute s d one reading this. He...He...he... Txt mo sa iba para ikaw naman ang cute!

Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cel mo at syota mo, anong gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka Brother! Sagipin mo ang cel at sigaw mo sa syota mo, text na lang kita!...

Bware of a txt stalker who sends a mssg like this: "Bware of a txt stalker who sends a mssg like this." :-))

Say gud about urself n ull b called arrogant; say bad about urself n ull b believed. :-))

We 4giv those who bore us but cannot 4giv those whom we bore. :-))

D only thing that can stop hair from fallin is d flooor. :-))

Dear fellow texters, I know we are all experiencing the same problems. It's really disappointing to receive delayed messages. That's why as early as now, I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas!

I looked at d sky, d sky is beautiful. I looked at you…..I looked at d sky na lang ulit. Gud A.M.

Bkit xciting ang txt? 1. kc pwede magpacute ang panget. 2. pwede single ang married. 3. sa txt bida ang cnungaling. 4. sa txt, bistado ang kuripot.

Sumtyms u myt catch me staring at u.Its not bcoz ur cute,bt bcoz my mom told me dat devils hav tails and im wndring wers urs.

When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!

Looks may capture the eyes, but it's d personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both!

I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.

Wag kang pupunta sa lugar na walang signal, kasi parang may sumpa na "di ka yayaman". Sabi kasi, "the subscriber cannot be rich".

How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!

How to spot a texter? 1. may muscle ang thumb 2. barok magsalita 3. may bangga ang auto 4. lagging nakayuko 5. nakasimangot dahil di makasend.

Heaven has less angles tonight, coz I sent a few to keep you warm and tight.

Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face ur fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

F u reciv it dis mins cute ako, f u save it cute talga ako, f u edit it cute pa rin ako, f u 4ward it pinagkaklat mong cute ako, but f u delit it naiinggit ka dahil cute ako.

Di ko kayang tanggapin, na wala ka ng txt sakin. Napakasakit na marinig na nagtitipid ka na sa akin.

Dear fellow texters. Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.

Just wanna giv u a hug to show u my gratitude that uve been my part of daily expenses. Joke lang.

When you feel that the sun is not shining on you... If you cant see the light coz something is blocking your sight & your losing your direction. . MAY MUTA KA !

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away, I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away, I wrote your name every where! Grabe hinuli ako ng pulis! They can recycle paper till as if its new, reclaim cans and jars and old bottles too, but they can never recycle another person as wonderful as ME! Kala mo ikaw noh?!

Para kang KUTO, I can't get you out of my head; para kang MUTA, I can't take off my eyes; para kang PUSTISO, I can't smile without you; para kang UTOT, tahimik pero may dating!

If you love someone… set him free… if he comes back… may naiwan lang yun, wag kang mag ilusyon.

I sent a flock of angels to stay with you throughout the night, 1 of them returned to me this morning and said "grabe ang cute nya!" binatukan ko nga kasi mali ang binantayan nya eh!

You're the reason why I have sleepless nights, you are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight, I'm thinking of you when I lay down at night, you are the reason why I shout "mommy may mumo!"

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.

Ive just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!
Kung akala mo importante ka sa akin, kung akala mo may tiwala ako sayo, kung akalamo namimiss kita at kung akala mo friend kita…Korek ka dyan!

Some people choose friends who are thoughtful n caring. Some prefer those who r smart n good looking. When u choose me, pinakyaw mo na lahat.

(In Filipino) Nagbago ka na! Mayabang ka na talaga! Di na kita maabot! Mataas na lipad mo! Tumawag ako kanina, ang sabi ng sumagot... 'the subscriber CANNOT BE RICH!'

U'll never know who ur friends are… till u stumble n fall. And till u feel his hands on your shoulder as he says, "yan tatanga-tanga kasi".

If I could be any letter in the alphabet, I'd choose "V" so I can be next to "U"; if you could be any note, I wished you're "RE" so your always beside "ME"!

If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.

50 years from now, tanda na ko nun! Di na cute, wala ng appeal, uugud-ugod, nguya nganga, dala baston, ihi sa salawal, ala ngipin. Pero pag uso pa ang text, iti text pa rin kita.

Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute txtm8 like me.

Waking up in a brand new day is already a miracle. What more is to receive a "gud morning" txt from a cute person like me"? Ang suwerte mo!

Pray that God grant you a mind free from worry, a heart free from sadness, a soul free from sin and a body free from unwanted odor. Naligo ka na ba?

Bakit exciting ang text? 1. kc pwedeng magpacute and pangit. 2. pwedeng single ang married 3. sa txt bida ang sinungaling 4. sa text bistado ang kuripot.

People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako! Ako!

Our frndship means alot 2 me, dat if we wer d last people on a sinking ship & der s only 1 lyf vest, i'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna mis u 4 sure..!

You're the reason why I have sleepless nights, you are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight, I'm thinking of you when I lay down at night, you are the reason why I shout "mommy may mumo!"

Kisses blown are kisses wasted. Kisses aren't kisses unless they are tasted. Kisses spread germs and germs are hated. So kiss me baby, I'm vaccinated!

Love is not about the melody of violins, it's about the squeaking of bed springs.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

I looked at d sky, d sky is beautiful. I looked at you…..I looked at d sky na lang ulit. Gud A.M.



A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue. So open your mouth and close your eyes, and give your tongue some exercise!

A friend is: 1% funny 2% sweet 3% caring 4% loving 90% goodlooking.... Kaya nga friend mo ako e!

How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

You made me smile a thousand times. You filled my heart with joy and happiness. You colored my days with laughter, well you must be a.......... CLOWN!
The rain makes all things beautiful, The grass & flowers 2, If rain makes all things beautiful, Why doesn't it rain on you?

Press down if you miss me. Talaga? Sweet mo naman. You really miss me huh? Still pressing down. Impressed na ako, ha? Sobrang miss na yan. Well, I miss you too.

I'm not sure what life could bring u. I'm not sure if dreams do come true. I'm not sure what love can do. But I'm sure about one thing. Cute tayo.

A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight, and is always close 2 ur heart!

Let go of the one who makes you cry. Let go of the one who breaks your heart. Let go of the one who causes you much pain. But never let go of me because mahirap maghanap ng cute na katext.

Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate,2 have & 2 hold,4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes, in text messaging n in poor signal, till low battery do us part?

I sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping. She went back to me and said ang cute mo raw. Sinampal ko nga. Loko yon ah. Biruin mo, mali ang binantayan.

Uve got sex appeal, uve got style, uve got intelligence, uve got class, uve got the face & uve got the body n ive got the wrong number!

I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop….to stop reading newspapers.

Just got the result of my medical exam. Malala na raw ang sakit ko. Sabi ng doctor, I'm getting cuter everyday. But don't worry, di raw nakakahawa. Gud am.

You asked for a candle and got the sun. You asked for a glass of water and received the ocean. You asked for a cute friend and got ME. Suwerte mo talaga.

Girl ur clever, girl ur smart, girl ur like a work of art, girl ur sexy,girl ur fine,d only thing u aint is mine!

Upon waking up, I asked God to send you an angle to keep you safe through the day. So get up now and take a bath so you won't scare the angel away.

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?

A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"

A friend is like a pillow, you can hug when you're in trouble, you can cry on when you're in pain, and you can embrace when you're happy. Always remember, I can be your pillow. Huwag mo lang lawayan.

Newsflash: Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart, sexy, witty n very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry where do you think i shud hide?

I don't know how to say this. We are friends but I can't get you out of my mind. This is wrong but you're the only one I could think of. This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!

Last nite i wantd u, needed u so badly dat it hurt, wantd 2 taste u, i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldn't find u, where r u.. paracetamol!
I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grown-up, I have one question..... What happened???

What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? Ako, i stare at the person and smile, but when i get tired, i just put the mirror down, nakakangawit eh!

NEWSFLASH: Policemen saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a building. POLICEMAN: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa yo! WOMAN AT THE EDGE: Wag kayo makialam, di ako makapag -send!

Der r times you're afraid, times you're confused, times you feel lonely, times you start to cry, times u start to laugh... ABA! PADOKTOR KA BaKA NABABALIW KA NA!!!

I'm thinking of u. I want to be with u. I am longing for u. I have a crush on u. I want to hug and kiss u. I love u. Ikaw, love mo rin ba ang letter u?

If they say GOOD LOOKS could KILL, then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!

Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Kasi sabi nila cute daw ako kapag naiinis ako! Kaya, Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako! Naiinis ako!

I saw my friend at the 17th floor, magpapakamatay. I asked him why, he says that he gotta crush on you. Shit! So I decided to push him. Nakatulong ako... nabawasan pa ang bulag sa mundo!

kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA kitang pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SUZUKIlian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE what friends are FORD!

anong animal ang hindi sigurado? eh di BAKA! ano naman ang pinutol? e di CAT! e ano naman and laging ayos? e di OX! ano ang laging nauuntog? e di DOG! e ano naman ang pangit? e di COW!

If i were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=ME!

Naglalakad Nagtetxt Nasagasaan PATAY! Kumakain NAgtetxt Nabilaukan PATAY! Nagdadrive NAgtetxt NAbangga PATAY! May celfon Walang Nagtetxt NAGPAKAMATAY!

5 reasons why i keep texting you: 1.) you made me fell welcome (i assume)
2.) you made me smile (thats true) 3.) you appreciate my thoughts (i hope) 4.) you spend time reading my messages(i guess) 5.) hindi ako kuripot!

Smile is the secret to stay young and cute. Naks, bakit ka nakangiti?

What is in your eyes that made me look at you the second time? what is it in your eyes that made me smile and say... sabi na nga ba MUTA YAN! hilamos ka!

Just got my medical exam results. malala na ang sakit ko, everyday lalo akong GUMAGANDA at wala raw gamot dito. But don't worry dahil di daw nakakahawa, you're safe.

When you feel like nobody loves you and nobody cares for you and when you feel like everyone is ignoring you... Wala yun! Ubos na kasi ang load niya!

I live a very difficult life. im always hurt! Whenever people call me CUTE, GOOD LOOKING, SMART & LOVABLE, I'm always hurt! Totoo pala, the TRUTH HURTS!

I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You oughta know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!
Each day God sends angels to guide us. Don't xpect 2 see them with wings n flying around bcoz dey com in disguise! Pa-txt -txt lang lang sila. Ehemmm.

May color coding din ako sa mga katxt ko para organized. MONDAY-sweet, TUESDAY-mabait, WEDNESDAY-gorgeous, THURSDAY-pangit, FRIDAY-cute, SATURDAY-frendly, SUNDAY-smart. Pano next thursday txt ulit kta.

Pag may distinction, I greet my cute frends HELLO & my funny-looking frends HI... Actually, I just want 2 greet u GOODNIGHT and to say HI.

While walkng down da street i heard an old man say "iv been in luv w/ da same woman 4 almost 54 yrs..." i was touchd den i heard him say... " i wish she knew..."

U can buy gifts but not love. u can pretend smile but not hapines, u can lie to others but not 4 urself, u can have another friend one but not as cute as ME!!

I had a dream about u. Nasa heaven daw tayo w/ a cute angel, my angel was ugly, so tampo ko. I asked St. Peter y cute angel mo. He replied: "Balance of nature".

Whenever I hear people say something bad about u, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say "she's trying to be one naman a!"

They say texting while walking is stupid, and texting while driving is more stupid, but if u don't have txtmates, ur d most stupid. So text me please!

Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

If ur lyk my pillow, u r huggable. If ur lyk my celfon, u r smart. If u r lyk my chocolate, u r sweet. If u r lyk me… grabe, ang cute mo naman!

If in time u just want to give up n fall. Go ahead for I will catch u. But if again u fall, I will just tap u on your shoulders n say "Lika nga d2..d na kta bibitiwan. :)

I saw someone at d Mall, So Cute, Smart, Looking, Simple Elegant & Luks Like a Celebrity. Kainis Paglapit Ko Nauntog Ako. Salamin Pala!

If ur not cute don't continue reading dis.... Naks! yan ang gusto ko sayo eh, lakas ng fighting spirit mo! O pumipindot pa! lupit mo!

Little bird in d sky dropped a POOPOO in my eye,i didn't scream, i didn't cry,just thanked God dat cows don't fly,bcoz it myt cover d CUTE face of mine.

Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!

Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Sumtyms wen u cry,no 1 sees ur tears. Wen ur worid, no 1 sees ur pains. Wen ur hapu, no 1 sees ur smyl. But try to fart, n you'll have the eyes of everyone.

Happiness keeps u sweet. Trials make u strong. Sorrows keep u human. Failure keeps u humble. Success makes u eager. And Lipovitan keeps u going.

Someday, ull 4get about me.my name,my voice,who iam and who iam to you.but even if u 4get me.i just want u 2 know...ang lumimot sa kin PANGET!

HELP! nasa presin2 ako nahuli ka c ako wyl i was wokng kanina. d charge was posesin of cute face. ihad no choice but 2 plid guilty. lakas ng ebidensya nila e!

money wil buy a bed but not sleep, fud but not appetite, amusement but not hapines..u c money s not evrything, Der4, f u hav 2 much, pls send it 2 me ASAP! -")

If only im an angel..i'l protct u i'l lend u my wings i'l watch ovr u ..but im not an angel...pero...may hawig..dba?

Girls are like celfones, they like to be held & talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected. Guys are like buses...if you miss that one, another will be along soon.

A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did d priest tell u 2 b so romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me 2 carry my cross.

I want 2 b w/ u tonight, watch u sleeping & sing u a song. I want 2 b so close 2 u 2 whisper in ur ear... Goodnight & sleep tight... Sender: LAMOK: 63919zzzzzzz
Evrything abt u is perfect - ur lips, ur skin, ur eyes, ur body. Perfect! Ur lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

We 'click' 2geder coz u tink im nice & i tink ur nice. U tink im cool & i tink ur cool. U tink im kind & i tink ur kind. u tink im cute & i tink ur RIGHT!

If Love cn b avoided by simply closing our eyes, den I wudnt blink at all 4 i dnt want 2 let a second pass having fallen out of love with you...

LaSt NiGhT i hUgGeD mY pIlLoW aNd DrEaMt oF yOu... I wIsH tHaT sOmEdAy I wOuLd DrEaM aBoUt My PiLlOw AnD i'D bE hUgGiNg YoU."

When I say gud morning, dat means I'm thinking of you. When I say take care, dat means I care for you. When I say and cute mo, antok lang ako.

wen u fil dat nodoby luvs u.. dat nobody cares.. wen all u can do is cry n walk away bcoz evryone is against u... then u are the weakest link! GOODBYE!!!

A KISS can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point... So don't dare 2 kiss me co'z I might get crazy!!!!

u sed pls dnt cry, i sed its olryt.. u sed pls dnt liv me, i sed wen did i? u sed il go nw, i ask wr wd u go? u sed m luving sme1, i ask hu? u sed - its not u.. kala ko ako.

Y do i txt u? It's my choice. It's my way f saying i rmmbr u. Y do i rmmbr u? It's my choice. It proves dat i care. Y do i care? Dnt knw. It's not my choice. It's my heart's.

sm1 once asked me,"hav u evr folen n luv?" den i answrd "of course..mny tyms" den dey gave me anoder qstion, "did it hurt?" i thot of u & told dem "yes..very mch".

gusto ko na benta cellfone ko... lam mo ba??? gusto ko hagis, durugin at tadyakan ang cellfone ko... lam mo ba??? gusto ko na panakaw ito... alam mo ba???? maloloka na ko sa pag-intay ng text mo... alam mo ba??? paano mo malalaman eh nakatingin ka sa iba!!!!!

I h8 u wen u smyl at me coz u make me crazy about u. i h8 u wen u talk 2 me coz u make me run out of words, i h8 u wen i c u coz u mke me luv u more,.....

It was a simple crush, done and over with, then you looked at me."

"The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a headache."

How dare you come along this way and turn my hardened heart to clay?"

Falling in love is when he lays in your arms and wakes up in your dreams." What a joke!

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